Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
