i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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