Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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