oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
