Do you still have your period?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
