i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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