O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this beer tastes like vomit already
i think i have two assholes
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
