there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
