Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
