im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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