I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
