As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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