just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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