we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
