Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
