is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
