and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
