why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm experimenting with sincerity
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
