Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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