In the future we'll all be gay
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this beer tastes like vomit already
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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