It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
