We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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