a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
