I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
