Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i believe in u and ur pee
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
