Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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