yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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