I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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