no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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