i think i have two assholes
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
