forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
