just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You need Xanax blowdarts
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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