Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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