is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
