Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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