Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
