it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
