I cockslap morals
you would pick up someone in the library
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
