i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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