Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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