i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
