Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
