This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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