so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
