I seem to have left my pride at pride
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
