So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
