Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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