I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
