he wants to bone in the snuggie
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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