The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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