WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
