so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
