Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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