dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i drank out of a bidet.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Randomize
