How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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