I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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